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Discovering Tension in "What Happened to Goodbye"- Part II

carolbaldwin

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In my ongoing blog series about the writing class I’m taking through the Center for Writing Excellence, I learned two new ways to produce tension: Horizontality and Verticality. 

Horizontality, as Bethany Nuckolls instructed,  “refers to narrative that moves chronologically.“
Verticality “happens
when multiple events or times are present in the same narrative moment.”

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Our assignment was to find examples of tension in our reading novel.  McLean, the protagnoist in What Happened to Goodbye? is both drawn to her next-door neighbor, David, but also afraid of getting
involved in any type of lasting relationship because she and her father always
leave town. This passage comes immediately after a scene in which he is close enough to kiss her but doesn’t; the talk and
action subsequently turns to basketball.   

Here is the passage I chose; my analysis follows.   

  He sat
up, choosing to ignore this. “You know, you talk this tough game and
everything. But I know the truth about you.”
     “And what’s that again?” I
said, getting to my feet.
     “Secretly,” he said, “you
want to play with me. In fact, you need to play with me. Because deep down, you
love basketball as much as I do.”
     “Loved,” I said. “Past
tense.”
      “Not true.” He walked
around my deck, grabbing a broom there and using the handle to fish around
beneath.” (Horizontality) “I saw how
you squared up. There was love there.”
     “You saw love in my shot,” I
said, clarifying.
     “Yeah.” He banged the
broomstick again, and the ball came rolling out slowly, toward me. “I mean it’s
not surprising, really. Once you love something, you always love it in some
way. You have to. It’s, like, part of you for good.”
     I wondered what he meant by
this, and in the next beat, found myself surprised by the image that suddenly
popped into my head: me and my mom, on a windy beach in winter, searching for
shells as the wave crashed in front of us. (Verticality) I picked up the ball and threw it to him.
     “You ready to play?” Dave
asked, bouncing it.
     “I don’t know,” I said. “Are
you going to cheat?”
      “It’s street ball!” he
said, checking it to me. “Show me that love.”
       So cheesy, I thought. But as I felt it, solid against
my hands, I did feel something. I wasn’t sure it was love. Maybe what remained
of it, though, whatever that might be. “All right,” I said.
“Let’s play.” (p. 273)
  

I think this is the original cover; I like it best!

Analysis: Dessen probably used
the verb “fishing” purposefully to describe David’s action of getting the ball
out from under the deck. This fits in nicely with McLean’s flashback of her and
her mother at the beach, searching for shells. 
Horizontality is shown in his three chronological actions of retrieving the ball.

I think verticality is achieved when there
is something about David’s words about love that trigger her memory of her mother. Although
McLean is trying hard to distance herself from her mother, memories of pleasant
and loving times keep popping up. Her mother, like it or not, “is with her for
good,” as the rest of the novel attests to.

Tension is created because it takes McLean
the entire page to decide if she will play basketball with David. Her slow
deliberation over what he has said to her intensifies the conflict for the
reader (who of course wants her to say “yes!”).

The chapter ends with a cliff-hanger letting
the reader know that McLean is indeed, allowing herself to “play” and get
involved with David.
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Now you try it. Has an author you have read included tension in her novel? How have you included it in your own work?

Published by carolbaldwin

Carol enjoys teaching writing and has presented at many educators' and writing conferences. She has published widely in newspapers and magazines and along with Rebecca Wheeler, co-publishes Talking Story, a newsletter for educators and media specialists. When she isn’t reading, writing, or blogging, you’ll find her walking with friends, golfing, or gardening.

14 thoughts on “Discovering Tension in "What Happened to Goodbye"- Part II”

  1. I'm impressed with what you are learning in this class. Now I am going to take my newfound knowledge of “horizontal” and “vertical” and look for it in the books I'm reading. Thanks for the post!

    Reply

  6. This class sounds fabulous. I'm learning from reading your posts.I may go back to see if I have any vertical and horizontal tension in my own story. Thanks Carol.

    Reply

  8. I'm impressed with what you are learning in this class. Now I am going to take my newfound knowledge of “horizontal” and “vertical” and look for it in the books I'm reading. Thanks for the post!

    Reply

  13. This class sounds fabulous. I'm learning from reading your posts.I may go back to see if I have any vertical and horizontal tension in my own story. Thanks Carol.

    Reply

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