In this series about my online writing class, Plot and Structure, through the Center for Writing Excellence, I last posted definitions and examples of horizontality and verticality in What Happened to Goodbye. Our next assignment was to play around with creating tension in our own work. Here are some samples from Chapter 2 of Half-Truths.
In the lesson
on tension, Bethany Nuckolls said, “Tension is simply a byproduct of pacing and
manipulating time. Conflict in a story
can be heightened or diminished by how fast or slowly you narrate it. Slowing a scene down and writing longer
sentences builds tension… Speeding a scene up and writing shorter sentences
gives the reader a sense of movement.
This is particularly effective in action scenes where the character is
reacting instead of preparing to react.
This kind of tension is less suspenseful and more shocking.”
felt a tightness in her chest, like a band pulled taut so she could hardly
breathe. No way was there enough space here for Eileen. Or for Speckles. Or for
her. How could she ever feel like this was home?”
commented: “Choppy sounds great. It’s closer to the rhythm of her nervous
heartbeat, or her thoughts jumping from one worry to the next.”
present in the same narrative moment). In this passage Kate jumps backward and forward again in her mind:
She tried the idea on as if it was a new pair of riding boots. Took some
breaking in, but would fit if she stomped around in the notion long enough. Kate
kissed Eileen on the snout and squared her shoulders. If she’d been brave
enough to help birth Eileen in the middle of a hailstorm that threatened to
flatten the whole county, she was brave enough to face Grandmother Dinsmore and
all her rules and plans. And hopefully brave enough to walk into Alexander
Graham Junior High and make friends with a bunch of snobby, rich girls.”
that the hailstorm was an example of verticality.
I created tension by using horizontality (narrative that moves chronologically):
Her eyes traveled from the wisps of hair that had escaped Kate’s braid all the
way down to her mud-covered loafers.”
length helped me realize that I tend to write run-on sentences. Breaking them
up added oomph and made the narrative more present to the reader.
summarized this to another student when she said: “There is no ONE rule to
apply to all situations. Rather, this is about realizing how sentence
length can change the mood in a scene, and be willing to exploit that fact to
your advantage.”
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| Horizontal or Vertical: which appeals to you? |
Great post and I love the examples you wrote!
“Took some breaking in, but would fit if she stomped around in the notion long enough.”Love that sentence! I see change in your writing Carol.
Carol,Keep passing along these valuable tips! Thanks so much@
Thanks friends! Glad you see some changes in my writing, Joyce. But since I wrote this version (just 3 weeks ago!) I've realized that i need to age my character. Hopefully this “boot” sentence still fits a 15-year-old. Not quite sure about that…
Thanks for sharing what you are learning, Carol, and I know it can't help but make your own writing more and more alive! Looking forward to that end product!
I appreciate all these tips you are posting along with such great examples. Thanks.
Thanks Rosi and LInda! I hope you're right!
Thanks for sharing all that you are learning, Carol! It is indeed helpful to me, as I am sure it is to others. I agree with Barbara, I love the examples that you wrote.
Thanks, Carol. This gives me great food for thought! A welcome relief from the food of Thanksgiving, I must admit!
Thanks Judy and Ann. Glad to be passing the information along!
Dear Carol, Isn't it interesting how the length of sentences can add or subtract tension from our writing? Thanks for sharing your great ideas to help all of us improve our writing.Celebrate youJoan
Yes, Joan. It certainly is! And now that I'm aware of it, I play with it even more! Thanks for stopping by.
Great lesson. I wasn't familiar with the terms verticality and horizontality. Always like learning names for the wordier concepts!
Thanks, Kim. I've learned a lot in this Center from Writing Excellence class!
I'm a little slow at reading your blog, but always look forward to this interesting information.I will go back and see if I can figure out vertical and horizontal line in my story. I do see the difference. I loved your writing samples. Can't wait to read the entire book. Sheri
Thanks, Sheri. Better late than never! I appreciate your support. Try seeing horizontality and verticality in other writers' work. that might help you with your own.
Great post and I love the examples you wrote!
“Took some breaking in, but would fit if she stomped around in the notion long enough.”Love that sentence! I see change in your writing Carol.
Carol,Keep passing along these valuable tips! Thanks so much@
Thanks friends! Glad you see some changes in my writing, Joyce. But since I wrote this version (just 3 weeks ago!) I've realized that i need to age my character. Hopefully this “boot” sentence still fits a 15-year-old. Not quite sure about that…
Thanks for sharing what you are learning, Carol, and I know it can't help but make your own writing more and more alive! Looking forward to that end product!
I appreciate all these tips you are posting along with such great examples. Thanks.
Thanks Rosi and LInda! I hope you're right!
Thanks for sharing all that you are learning, Carol! It is indeed helpful to me, as I am sure it is to others. I agree with Barbara, I love the examples that you wrote.
Thanks, Carol. This gives me great food for thought! A welcome relief from the food of Thanksgiving, I must admit!
Thanks Judy and Ann. Glad to be passing the information along!
Dear Carol, Isn't it interesting how the length of sentences can add or subtract tension from our writing? Thanks for sharing your great ideas to help all of us improve our writing.Celebrate youJoan
Yes, Joan. It certainly is! And now that I'm aware of it, I play with it even more! Thanks for stopping by.
Great lesson. I wasn't familiar with the terms verticality and horizontality. Always like learning names for the wordier concepts!
Thanks, Kim. I've learned a lot in this Center from Writing Excellence class!
I'm a little slow at reading your blog, but always look forward to this interesting information.I will go back and see if I can figure out vertical and horizontal line in my story. I do see the difference. I loved your writing samples. Can't wait to read the entire book. Sheri
Thanks, Sheri. Better late than never! I appreciate your support. Try seeing horizontality and verticality in other writers' work. that might help you with your own.